Thanks soupdragon,

I think you're right, life will always have difficulties. We will get sick and we will die, it is inevitable. Lately I've been concerned about the effect of some powerful anti-psychotics have had on me. I don't have to take them at present, but I wonder if I will ever feel "very happy" or "very sad" or be able to act spontaneously and just "have fun" ever again. It is overwelming for me to think about sometimes, I feel violated by psychiatrists and their treatment, occasionally. It is done, they prescribed it and I voluntarily took it. It is a cruel world.