My visual memory is hopeless, particularly for faces- I find it very difficult to pick out even very close friends and family. For at least the first two years of therapy I barely looked at T and couldn't hold a 'picture' of her in mind. Now I think I've got one, but I'm still not sure I'd notice her out and about. One barrier is that she's about half my height, so if I were looking straight ahead I'd be gazing way over the top of her head

Other than her physical appearance, I feel I 'know' T quite well in terms of random bits and pieces about her day to day life, activities, family, preferences etc. because we have quite a close texting relationship with randomness built in. I feel I know her limitations a bit in terms of starting to recognise patterns in how she is different when she's tired, frustrated, overwhelmed etc. I can see when she's being stubborn, or can't take a step back. But of course, I only 'know' what she chooses to present to me (plus the bits that sometimes spill over from her everyday life), and I'm sure she's always mindful of the context of our relationship...