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Remember its just kids however the brothers children seem like they may have had some experience down the line that makes them want to engage in that type of behavior.For your brothers children that is definately a red flag and dangerous and brother should know that perhaps that has been a learned behavior on his childrens part.
For you and your daughter you need now to stop thinking of this and making it such an issue otherwise daughter will think its something bad. Right now she is a healthy three year old and does not know what is right or wrong. You have told her enough about private parts etc but now its time to let the subject go otherwise daughter will be affected!
Thinking of you!!
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
"And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper 
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