I have not done it in a long time, way over 1 year. I have a regular, normal life (children and all) and things seem to be going pretty well. All of a sudden I have thoughts of doing it. I can't ignore the thoughts, but it doesn't mean I have to do it. I will feel better initially and then awful after. I have been thinking about doing it for the last 2 days.

I was noticing a few days ago that I was feeling depressed, like I used to. Not as bad at all, but that heaviness started creeping in. I am on Lexipro and Wellbutrin and I like my dose. I really can't go up because then I have trouble sleeping. I also don't have health insurance temporarily and can't go see a "pill lady" right now to work on a dose. I am totally afraid of changing meds.

I am just posting to get it out of my head and "in the open" so it makes it less likely I will act on it. I haven't posted on PC in ages. Sigh. I do not want these thoughts to get any stronger. Yuck. Feeling irritable. Thanks for listening.