Jess - It sounds to me like you don't feel loved. When we are little we tend to get loved - just because we are little. Then, when we grow up, it's not an automatic thing. We have to go on this hunt to become loved again. Sometimes the hunt seems unsuccessful. If that goes on long enough - we can get discouraged beyond what our words can describe.

Professionals, who are paid to listen to us, and people in Cyberspace don't seem like the answer to what we are looking for. I say this because you mentioned about not being in a loving relationship. It would be my guess that that is where your hurt comes from. I'm sorry. I know it feels bad to feel not loved by someone special with whom you can be close.

I may be off the mark. Only you know what is hurting you so bad. It would be good to put it into words to someone. That is, it can be good, so long as that someone doesn't try to tell you that you are making a big deal about something easily solvable. It is a huge challenge to solve it.

You are capable - probably - of way more than you believe you are. Almost all of us are. I am telling this to myself as much as to you.

Everyone here does really care.