It really just seems like it never ends. I wonder when I will ever be free of these thoughts. I know for sure acting on it makes them stronger and more frequent. I have had that conversation in therapy about how not eating is SI. And binging is SI, too. Sometimes there are other things that I have done that I did not realize was SI. I really do not want to do things that hurt myself, I want to feel joy in this life and I do a lot of the time.

I think if I sloooow down I can figure out what triggered these thoughts, but my mind goes there so quickly and if I don't tell myself to STOP I can act on it.

Thank you for replying to me, MG, I really needed someone to just say something.