Hi all

Since the age of 15 ive been hospitalised 4 times whilst in a crisis. 3 times privately and once through the NHS. This all stemmed from the fact that it took me forever to get the right diagnosis and therefore the right treatment. I still haven't got it and im at the stage now where im basically being refused the option of appropriate treatment on the NHS. I don't know why this is and sadly my psych won't give me a clear answer - i think it may be because im not considered severe enough (ridiculous). What their offering me instead is a 6 month group therapy programme followed by a possibility of being referred to the personality disorders team. At this private hospital ive been to in london, i couldn't quite afford the correct treatment programme id need to go on but on the general programme id would be appointed a dbt specialist who not only would know how to handle me appropriately but would most likely (based on what i have enquired) do some 1 to 1 skills sessions with me during the duration of my stay. Its got to the point where i would rather go into hospital to get close to the right care then go on a 6 month group therapy programme which is not intense enough or relevant to whats actually wrong with me (i know because ive sampled it). Im not trying to knock the NHS but it just seems a waste of money offering me the wrong treatment when i could in fact get through there system a lot faster by having the right therapy made available to me. Ive been in the system 5 years now - just think of the cost.

ANYWAY. My question is, as i don't have private health insurance i would have to use my mothers and seeing as how strained our relationship is i don't think i stand a chance in hell of her letting me go. I entered a really bad phase at the end of last year and she wouldn't let me be admitted and made up all sorts of excuses like a psychiatrist would have to approve it which is rubbish - i went 3 times before on a GP referall as there was basically nowhere else i could have gone and i didn't really adhere to a programme it was really just about keeping me safe. This time however i actually want to engage with whats on offer - its amazing i have the energy seeing as what treatment ive had on the NHS (everything from art therapy to 1to1 etc).

How do i go about asking her? My main argument is that i don't want to wait 6 months before possibly being referred to the personality disorders team to see whether they can help me. I want to go back to work but i can't until i know i have the skills to cope when things turn really bad. I need a full time job because of my rent etc but i can't juggle that with 4 therapy sessions a week. It has to be one or the other atm. At least if i went into hospital i could come close to the right care for me - and id only be in there 4 weeks. The group therapy sessions i had under my local team were just outrageously bad. Im starting to loose hope with the whole thing to be honest. I shouldn't have to beg my mum to let me go to hospital because im sick. But there we have it. I know recovery doesn't go in a straight line and i know a 4 week hopsital may not be enough or even the right thing to do but im running out of options. Im sorry for such a long post but id appreciate any sort of advice on the matter.