I am up in the early hours of the morning doing a history project, so typical of me... Anyway for some reason my mind seems very clear, not distorted by the depression for once, and I have a bit of a mini-epiphany about my cutting. It's not necessary. I'm going to regret it. Why started this was, my iPod was on shuffle, and it was playing a Taylor Swift song (I used to love Taylor Swift but not anymore) and I tuned out until the last line, when for some reason I just stopped and listened. "Lost your balance on a tightrope, it's never too late to get it back. And I realized that it's ok, just because I cut doesn't mean there's no hope, I can still stop if I try. And that's what I want to do. I started recently, but I can already feel it getting out of control. And I want to be free. So I'm going to try to stop. I just had to write it down so I have people to hold me accountable, and I can come back and read this and say, "Ok, I said I was going to stop." And I'm gonna be honest: I'm going to need some help with it, because I am really bad about saying I'll do something then giving up. So hopefully i can get some support with it

I know you guys are always helpful though

thanks for reading, just had to get that all down. I'm already feeling kind of better about it.