Actually yes once I perceived that he did. We did talk about it a couple of months later when I plucked up the courage to tell him and he said he was so very sorry and I should always tell him if I felt that he did that. It was a fairly small thing that he did, but I guess I am highly sensitive, got teased continuously as a child and mocked - my father would purposefully try to anger me and then would laugh if I reacted - so it was safer to hide all emotions - hmm had forgotton that - kind of a light bulb moment isn't it? I just wishes I knew how to flick that switch again though and be able to cry with T.

I have also just reflected and note that for the last few months I have been a bit closed off from things, bored with T and just wanting to get it over and done with - the last few days my interest has been ignited again - wonder why that is - I kept saying to T I needed a break, maybe I have been giving myself one and now feel rested enough to get stuck in aqain - well at least to sit on the wall and have a good look around.