Seeking,

Something bothers me about your post. As long as you and your husband are worrying about whether you each make equal contributions, and who pays for whose children's educational expenses, etc. there is a division in your family. I always thought that families shared, and whatever resources the family had were available for the good of the whole family. Worrying about his and hers and who is contributing financially doesn't foster unity. It isn't possible to assign a monetary value to all that you do outside of earning money. Even if you did, it would never seem to come out even because we always overestimate our own contribution and underestimate others' contributions. That is human nature. What is needed needs to matter more than "I've already contributed my share." There is a reason that couples are often told that marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It's more like 60/60.

You might want to consider marriage counseling. I'd suggest talking it out on your own, but not knowing you well enough, I'm afraid that one or both of you would have defensive feelings on these issues and someone could be hurt. This situation is not one person's fault, and blame won't help it, but I do think you both need to take a deeper look at what it means to be a family.

I wish you well!
Wendy

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

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