Quote:
Originally Posted by continuosly blue
Is there anyone out there that can ? I've had this demon all my life.
I've been on anti-depressants about 80% of the time.
There has been times where I thought I could get rid of it
using willpower alone. I thought I could cure myself. It was like trying to operate on myself. Successful for short periods of time but it always
came back.I've on so many meds , ( I'm also a chronic pain patient ) ,
that I think I've been totally rewired. I'm not me anymore. I've been
changed into a drug ( all prescriptions ) dependent nothing !
No willpower here.
Continuosly blue
( cb ) for short
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You really hit a chord with me on this one, as I am also a chronic pain patient, and have been on psych meds since I was 18. I sometimes feel like I've become nothing but a walking pharmacy. I have to remind myself that this is all necessary to keep me on my feet and functioning at relative normal. I've tried will power, and found that I have a great deal of strength in me, but when the moods swing (I'm bipolar) and the craziness begins, even that strength is not enough.
You think you have no willpower. Did it occur to you that you probably have a great deal of willpower, just to get up and face the day? There are a lot of people who couldn't deal with both the chronic pain and the chronic depression. You are strong enough that you are doing it both, and still have the energy to look at your options. Give yourself the credit for what you accomplish each day - getting out of bed!
Facing the world! (or your little corner of it)
and having the will to do it not once, but over and over!
Hang in there CB, and don't sell yourself short!
~Buggs