I guess writing out helps.... I have very strange mind and don't think it words.... so this was one useful thing I learned. Put it in words... often it is less terrifying in language (but than language hardly can capture the way I feel at times).

"i need help".... It took years and year to learn to ask people to help me with a heavy bag when getting in a train.... so asking for emotional support is bit awkward. But I guess anonymity (to a degree) of the netz is good for this.

and thaaanks. Muchly.