(((Anika))) Your post does make sense to me. And, admittedly, it also leaves me a bit concerned for you. I understand the disconnect. I understand seeing through the facades, seeing the underbelly of the world around us. For me, it can be a part of the dissociation. Not the unreal, skewed perception part, but more the hyperaware "knowing" as you have described. When I get to that point, I feel very Alien..not sure if you've ever read any Heinlein, but times like that I really identify with the main character from Stranger in a Strange Land. Or sometimes it's more of a Holden Caulfield/Catcher in the Rye sense of phoniness in the world..not sure. I'm just on a different level of awareness sometimes. And sometimes that's a good thing...and sometimes it isn't.

You see, for me, that "knowing" can turn into paranoia. I'm sensing tones of that in your post. You may not be in a clear-cut mood episode, but this still may be worth calling your pdoc over. But at the same time, I don't want to discount feelings of awareness. My God, if we called every heightened sense of spiritual awareness pathological, we'd have whole monastic societies medicated....just be cautious that that "awareness" doesn't turn into something darker.

Sending safe hugs your way...