i could talk to her i suppose about working with me. i just hate doing that. she's worth the money she charges. im self-employed and its frustrating when people ask you to work with them all the time. almost like what you do is not valued enough to save for or make room for. and its scary to me how sad i am right now. ive felt so connected with her and ive never felt that before. as the same time i was in almost in tears i could feel my brick wall going straight back up going "never again will i let anyone get close. its safer and less emotionally torturous behind this wall" ugh, and above all...she's just a counselor so this is soooo one-sided.