I understand where you are coming from. My husband has commented over the past few days--I guess since the Seroquel really got into my system--that I'm like I was before the bipolar got bad two years ago. I'm glad but it seems odd to actually be enjoying life and not feeling like crying all the time or jacked up constantly or both. I occasionally start waiting for the other shoe to drop but then I decide it's not worth it to think that way. I mainly worry that things will never be this good again if I go over the edge into mania or depression or mixed state again. I think we need to enjoy these days and be grateful for them as much as we can.