mcl636, chopin99, perna, and sallybrown.

Thank you SO much for responding. My headache is a bit better now but I'm SO sad. I keep thinking about T. It's SO annoying. Something happened two weeks ago that has been bothering me SO much. I got a message from one of T's receptionist saying that one of my appointments with T in February needed to be cancelled. So I rescheduled for a different day during the same week. When I told T the appointment was cancelled, she said "I wonder what that was about?" Then T said the day I rescheduled that appointment for, she will be out of the office. I told T I would just go cancel the appointment then. So basically, I do not have an appointment at all during that week in February. What bothers me is T doesn't even know why my original appointment was cancelled. I don't understand why she didn't know why the appointment was cancelled. It's her schedule isn't it? Now it just sucks even more that I told her I was attached to her. I hate being attached to her. Some part of me thinks that I'm hogging up T's schedule and that's why the receptionists cancelled my appointment and gave it to someone else. I honestly feel like saying to T and her receptionists that if they don't want me there, they could say it. That's all they have to do and I will go away. The reason why I concluded this is because almost everytime I go and schedule another appointment to see T again, the receptionists will question why I have more than 3 appointments schedule. They have stated to me many times that I'm only allowed to have 3 appointments at a time. T has override that but most of the receptionists still don't get it. I'm just SO sick of all these misunderstandings and the constant questioning about scheduling. Now, I'm just in so much turmoil knowing that even T doesn't know why my appointment with her was cancelled. I'm scared to find out the truth about it. I'm scared that I may be right. I know that I shouldn't assume anything but somehow I just can't help it. I'm crying just thinking about it. Maybe it is better this way so I wouldn't be SO dependent on her. I just hate this attachment S*** so much. It just hurts more being attached now. I've should of not let myself get attached to T. It would have been easier to walk away but now look what I've gone and done. I've let her into my head and heart. I'm so scared that if I bring this up again to T, it may cause a rupture between us. I just don't know what to do. It hurts too much.