Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
I realized that I don't want to go to therapy in part because I feel like I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure IRL. My day job is overwhelming in terms of financial goals..with this economy! Right now, therapy needs to be a place where I can let down my guard, be kind of experimental and weak, sometimes, rather than tough.
The fact is, I'm barely surviving THERAPY, not my job.
I'm going to say that when I go in tomorrow. My job does not keep me up at night; therapy does.
Maybe that's why this whole thing felt so WRONG.
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This is such. good. stuff. to tell your T tomorrow.
I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if therapy itself is the problem (I'm kind of wondering that right now)...like I'm busy enough as it is, and when therapy-stress happens (not the stress I came to therapy to talk about, the stress caused by therapy ITSELF), I wonder what the heck I'm doing.
When I look at the BIG picture, I can see that I've changed and healed in therapy. And I can even see that I did a lot of that by working through the therapy-stress. But while I'm IN it, it feels so pointless - or even worse than pointless, actually - it feels like it might be making me worse instead of better.
I REALLY believe that the issues that come up that are "therapy issues" ARE the issues. Those are the things that are probably hindering us in our lives...but it's SO much more intense in therapy that it just feels bigger and almost unrelated to real-life stuff. I can kind of see that when I step back and look at it in retrospect - but while I'm in it, it just feels like "make it STOP!".
I hope your session brings some relief. It seems like this has been a tough time for you.
