It's frustrating to be working so hard and wanting to get better, yet still get these kinds of thoughts. I am by no means suicidal, but I, too, get the occasional "dead would be an improvement" thoughts. They usually come when I am having a bad spell, and since I know I will not act on them, I am more able to set them aside. Since you have said you won't act on them either, would it be better to fantasize instead on the person you would like to be when you finish therapy? Let your imagination run with that, instead of running with thoughts of death. There is a lot we can't control, but thoughts are one thing we can. Determine in your mind that you will not dwell on death. Choose a topic to dwell on instead, and keep changing your thoughts to the positive.

Hang in there!