No one can hit your buttons better than a parent, they installed them afterall. You can do nothing about your husband's relationship with his mother. Perhaps you do not even understand where it is all coming from but you do not need to.

Try to think about what actually bothers you about this situation. Are you jealous? Do you resent the time he spends with his mother? I would not trust a man that is not good to his mother . I mean no disrespect to you, but the fact of the matter is that husbands and wives come and go, you only have one mother or one father. And perhaps he feels he is going from one woman emotionally blackmailing him to another.

Once you come to some realizations yourself, talk to your husband in a calm way. Tell him how this makes you feel, ask what you can both do to make these situations less stressful on YOUR relationship. He very well may need some time to decompress after dealing with his mother, and having you right there irritated for whatever reason makes you the available target.

If it is the fact that you had to hold dinner because of him, ask that he make the calls after dinner. This is not an unreasonable request. Or if the time changes prevent him from doing that, change dinner time on the days he's going to call mom.

He most probably has very limited time left with his mother. The last conversation I had with my father was three days before his death. I called him to wish him a happy birthday and he said "I can't talk now, I'm busy."