Dear Leah,

I'm glad you brought all of the above to paper so to speak.

First of all let me assure you that you are not on your own.

The first part of your post sounds very social phobic to me. A cafeteria, busy hallways ... Any places were there are people really, social interactions. And, forgive me, I might be wrong, I am not a therapist. Your feelings concerning relationships, friendships, the feeling of getting bored with people, not feeling satisfaction ,not having any relationships including your family... It sounds to me that your mind is very hard trying to protect you, the social phobic side of you.

Obsessing as you call it ... In maslows hierarchy of needs he describes the different layers of needs to reach self actualisation... Love, friendship, relationships are part of this. Which would make me think that your obsession as you call it is a cry for what you feel you dont have.

Sorry to approach your post in such an analiticle way. But that was the way it made most sense to me. You sound so lonely that I wanted to reply to your post. Have you ever talked to your doctor about the way you feel concerning the social anxiety. I am pretty sure if you could address this you will find everything else will start shifting.

Imaginary friends... Why not.... Nothing wrong with that.

The brain is very complex, and it has amazing ways of protecting us from things it feels, we can't handle in that moment.... find one point where you start to introduce a slight change and you will see the whole picture/ thought patten / emotions changes. Like a drip of water which creates circles in a lake.

Hope this helps a little bit and I didn't talk total nonsense. Take care.