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Jan 24, 2012, 03:34 PM
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 1,309
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I'm so sorry I haven't replied properly until now. I have had SUCH hectic week. The weekend, I was busy shooting both days and stayed over at a photographer friend's house where my partner had an asthma attack so he had to go to hospital. That was a manic weekend.
This week so far has been full of the finishing touches of training in my new job and it's been easier than last week was. Today I took my first call, made my first booking and made my first upsell. It's been tiring. I've crashed completetly and I cannot stop crying, hurting, feeling weak, unhappy and tired. I feel like everyone is leaning on me and I'm breaking under their weight. David's not being paid by his current employers because some damned idiot spent the last £5,000 on a client, which was meant to be used for wages, so now the company has NO money despite David bringing £23,000 in last week. ARGH! So me in my new job, being paid for the two weeks I've worked so far, doesn't have enough to cover all our rent and bills PLUS debts that I'm trying to pay off.
Now our cats have fleas again, we've completely decontaminated the flat and done their flea treatments, but the fleas aren't yet dead. We've so far found 2 live ones, one on each cat and a dead one. It's awful! I really can't do this anymore. I feel disgusting, I feel guilty, I'm angry, I'm upset. I feel terrible for the cats suffering so badly - my other cats NEVER had fleas so why these two? Because the last owner never f**king bothered with flea treatments, that's why!!!! ARRRRRGGHHHHHH!!!
I'm so worried about money, so worried about time, so worried about life in general. I swear as soon as I get paid a full wage, those cats will be in the vets having a full blown flew treatment and we'll be fully exterminating the flat of those vile things. A friend suggested just throwing out our sofa but we don't have the money for a new one - plus we just thoroughly cleaned it. God I feel terrible  This week has started so badly and it seems it can only get worse right now. I just want to give up. I keep wondering how David would get on without me here even just for a week.
He's so used to his Mother doing everything for him that he seems to think that it's my duty to carry on with that and make his breakfast, remind him of daily things he needs to do, make his lunch and even after a long day at work from 8-6, make him dinner PLUS wash up, PLUS sew this duvet for his Cousin's baby which I'd wanted to start TWO months ago, PLUS listen to him whinge about how he didn't paint his models last night for this weekend's competition because of the cats' fleas. For Goodness' sake, just how much more CAN I, WILL I take!?!?!?!
Please help... I'm falling and I cannot stop..
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