Okay so I have looked into a few things but don't have access to any transportation. I am trying to move back to Chicago where I used to live but I need a job in order to get an apartment. I don't have computer access, only my iPhone. I have applied for job on Craigslist but haven't received any replys. I really have no one to help me out. My mother who I am currently staying with is extremely unsupportive and seems to do anything she can to bring me down. About a week ago she blew up at me and made an extremely hurtful comment to me. She said that I deserve everything that is happening to me but she said the one thing that I don't deserve is my daughter. I told her that I want her to have nothing to do with my daughter. I cannot believe that she would say this to me. So I spend my days in a room. I sometimes go whole days or more without speaking to anyone. I am trying to reach out to other family members but I feel bad as I usually don't speak to them anyway. Not that there is bad blood it's just I have always been somewhat of a loner. I need to get out of this negative environment. At least in Chicago I can move around using public transportation and a lot of my family is there. I really need to find a job in Chicago. I have absolutely no confidence in my self as far as finding a job. What's weird is I have every confidence that I could hold most any job if I had it. I am a very hard worker it's just the finding it part. I get so down. Some days are ok, I tell myself things will be ok and I see hope, but most days I feel like there is no hope of me getting out of this situation so why don't I end it? I have little to no support, I have reached out to my older sister but we were. Ever close and hardly talk and she gives me the impression that I am a burden, even to talk to. I spend hours worrying about things. I think things would be different if I was working. I would feel like I'm actually being productive. But I don't see how I can do it.