I don't know how much more of this I can take... due to the fact that I am broke and unemployed (I'm trying to find work, but it's not easy these days), I'm stuck living with my parents. At age 25. This kills me, because I have to do everything their way, and I am constantly reminded (if not by them, certainly by me) that I am in THEIR house, not my own. I'm taking a few courses at the local college to try to advance my career, but I may have to give up on it, because, for various reasons, it looks like my dream is vaporizing before my very eyes into nothingness, and I can't really spare the expense. What I would LOVE to do is move to the mountains in Colorado - I have always loved being there, and I have family there as well. It wouldn't matter to me if I were working two or three jobs to pay the rent, because it would be rent for my own place. I feel like I am nothing, like I should never have been born. I constantly feel like nothing has gone right for so long for me, and, no matter how hard I try to be there for everyone, no one can bother to be there for me. My parents are too busy and stressed - they complain to me about their various health- and work-related issues, while I, the drudge, cook and clean and do their vet appointments and such. My friends are sympathetic, but apart from that, I haven't seen them in a few months. My priest is too busy to talk to me. The last time I discussed my conflicted feelings about God and my life with him was in September. I realize that life goes on, that I am far from the center of the universe, that there are so many who are starving and without clothes and shelter, and that really, I am very lucky. Don't think I don't know this. I am grateful for what I have, but I feel like I need to spread my wings and leave. I need to go onwards and upwards, and I can't right now, and that just kills me. I really do feel like I'm rotting away inside, and my recurring nightmare is that I will die in this house, an old woman who aged too young.