Hi Sannah: I honestly think I'm more on the fearful–avoidant attachment style. One evilness that comes with life is having someone take away one of the few people I had a connection with. I watched as he was shot down like some wild animal. He was meaningless to the people who shot him, but to me, he was my heart and soul. He was someone I looked up to. Someone who I wanted to be proud of me. I wanted to see him grow old. I wanted to show him that I could make something out of my life and now all that has been taken away. How did and could it all happend SO fast? I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. I'm stuck. I just don't know if I can stand losing someone again unexpectedly. I've seen and felt this great loss. I don't want to see anyone I care about die in front of me anymore. I need people but yet I'm just so afraid to lose them. I'm not afraid of rejection. I've been rejectioned before and I get over it. It's losing someone I care about unexpectedly that I don't know if I can handle a blow like that again. So I think I may be pushing T away fearing that I may hear of her death one day unexpectedly. I wouldn't know how to live anymore. I'm SO messed up, aren't I? I just can't seem to rid myself of the flashbacks of the shooting, the noises, all that blood........the reoccurring nightmares that constantly remind me of the whole ordeal. It's just too much.