Hi Broken, I'm sorry you're feeling so alone right now. I thought I would never have to deal with anorexia ever again (it's been almost 10 years without it), but have recently started dieting and it's taking over again. Do you have any support outside the hospital. It's been really hard for me to be honest lately with my husband about my struggles, but I know if I don't talk to someone who can help keep me on track, I'll never make it.