I know you hate the medical guinea pig/medication things, as you said, but if you are heading into a black hole, you'd better call your doc anyway. Some of the meds from your recent manic episode may need changing, and if you are cycling down again, some of the mood stabilizers, if you take any, may need to be raised.

Despite your mood, don't cancel your T appts. He/she is the one that's there to help you get thru the mood swings until the medication has time to kick in.

Also, on your list of things you are doing each day, you failed to mention taking all your meds. You need to be doing that, too.

Meanwhile, hang in there, don't do anything stupid, and call a friend if you reach a crisis point and can't reach your T. Or even just to talk.
~Buggs