i can't. i just can't do this any more! i'm overwhelmed. it's too much! the pain - it doesn't stop. it just keeps coming. i need it to end! i just can't do this any more... why is this happening to me? what did i do to deserve this? it just hurts so much! i don't know what to do anymore. it's hopeless. nothing's ever going to work. i'm doomed to live this hell forever. IT HURTS! it's torture from inside me! i've started crying at random times, sometimes at work. what if someone sees me? what do i say? then again nobody has noticed that anything's off with me. i guess i'm invisible - i guess i don't mater after all. so who am i fighting for? i don't care about me anymore. i don't end it because i don't want to hurt my loved ones... does anything mater anymore? isn't life suposed to have more happiness than this? without my husband, i'd have absolutley nothing. l know - i'm ranting and don't make sense. when i'm imersed in my sorrow, i overlook my love for my husband... i know, i know... i have to focus on that more...