Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar
Why is it that when ever I worry about something enough that I want myself hurt??? Why is it that I want the pain just to escape from the mental pain? Why is it that sui and si are the only things I can think about? Why do I have to keep living like this? Why is it that nothing works? Why is it that I feel like I need to drop out of school for this semester? Why is it that I can't think? Why is it that the anxiety level has to keep increasing? WHY????
I had to vent my mind keeps going to the painfull way out of things, wanting the pain so much to just to see the pain that I really feel. My head is killing me, and nothing works to take the pain away. What is left for me to try??? Why is it that I want to cut, since my other method doesn't do any harm at all? Why do I want this so badly? Why do I have to deal with this?
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I wish I knew why. I am feeling very similar to you these days. These feelings can be gone for so long and come right back. I do know that if you act on it, it gets stronger. Keep talking about it instead of doing it. That is what I have been doing and it seems to work.
Some of the tips on this board on what to do instead are good. I put one of those blue ice things (the cold packs that go into a cooler) next to my desk and hold it if I feel miserable and those thoughts come into my head. Maybe there is a tip there that could work for you?