Even though I hate the negative stuff that goes on for me, it is at least familiar and predictable, which makes it kind of safe, even the feeling of unsafeness is a safe feeling to have as I am begining to recognise the patttermn.

I just wondered whether the fact that the session was "ok" and the feeling you had leaving your session was not as horrible as it can get leaving your T session, made these unfamilair to you and therefore overwhelming to have? SD