I have my strong days, and then a few weak days. Over the past 6 weeks I"ve had suicidal thoughts, and honestly living wears me out. I have things I need to do, but I"m so tired from living that doing those things is hard. And when I feel the weakness, that's when things go the wrong direction. I do ask for help when I need it, but the honest truth is, I hate asking for help, it seems like that's all I ever do.