Yes. I feel it at some level all the time, but intensely in perilous situations make it a lot worse (even when I rationally know they are not perilous and that nothing bad will or even can happen). I find the therapist intensely perilous. But with no relief even when it goes okay - unlike in other situations where there is some lessening of the feeling. So this is worse, constant, and I deliberately do it to myself. And I know there is no reason for it but I cannot figure out how to stop it and the only thing that I can even imagine bringing any relief (not fully but enough to function) is to be beaten.