Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton
Yeah, I kinda felt that way writing it.
If you'd like to gauge against my reaction - I feel like that would give T way too much power over me. I'd feel weak and needy. That is TOTALLY unacceptable. It is incredibly important to me to feel like I don't need anyone, and especially important for me to feel like I don't need T. That would embarrass me. He's supposed to be some neutral third party helping me, not some object of a bizarre obsession.
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I never get quite this far in the thinking process, but I would probably agree if I did. It is like my brain shuts down and I don't really know what part I am afraid of. But the leaving feeling of awfulness does not feel like the same sort of fear as the going in feeling - which I readily label fear. The after feeling is not as clearly fear to me, although it may be.
I certainly know I rationally believe that therapist is some third party hired to assist. I could always hire another - actually I do hire other ones on a regular basis.