From my perspective, you can be connected and enjoy being connected to people without feeling "weak" and "needy." One thing is independent of the other. Authentic connection, in some if not most ways, is really the opposite of weak, it is brave, and doesn't often happen when it's just based on unidirectional need.

So I think you can still be your own island and not need anyone while also engaging in authentic connection with your T or anyone else.

I'd also like to suggest that there are not just two ways to see the role of your T, both of which are extremes and not really accurate. "Neutral third party" doesn't fly because no T with any real substance would claim that s/he was "neutral", as in their values, personal experience, and beliefs do not influence their relationships and practices with clients. As with all of us. And "bizarre obsession" is not what you get when you are connected (attached, whatever word you like) to your T. You're just in an authentic relationship and you feel close to them, and you might even feel that they feel close to you.

Anne