did bad things happen to you before you had words to describe them? sorry to keep harping on you like this, but I think therapy puts us in a child-like state (my words are not very good either) and you are re-experiencing your child state feelings, if not before therapy, then during and after. Do you see any parallels between how granite perceives her T, and how you do? I see myself in granite in SO many instances in my life. I am not saying you are, I am just looking for a touchstone here, a jumping-off point.