For me, when the session goes well, the closeness terrifies me; when the session goes less than well, the lack of closeness terrifies me.

I end up feeling bad, exposed, shameful for having needs and wants for closeness and then I threaten to quit.

Or I feel bad, exposed, shameful for wanting to flee and I threaten to quit.

This is my pattern. Not all the time, but enough of the time to have this run my life, deplete my bank account, and alienate me from self and others. If I was not making progress (or think that I am) I would not just threaten to quit, but quit.

If this sounds at all sensible...then please post and say so, because right now it sounds downright insane (this, from me, who wrote a post about not calling myself insane).