yeah, that's how I know a lot of it really is internal for me, and that these feelings of distress get stirred up by the very act of being in therapy....right now, though, after several real melt-downs, I am trying to determine whether this is in fact a healthy endeavor for me.

right around the time I feel better, it's time to go back. Sheesh!

I have, for the last month or so, been in a fair amount of distress about the whole thing. I think SOME has to do with the issues that are coming to the fore (new ones...money...intimacy and life/work balance. However, some of it goes back, for me, to the blank slate thread. My t's are NOT AT ALL disclosing, and I feel like I am stripping in front of someone who is sober, fully dressed and taking my money. What's wrong with that picture??? I never pictured myself as a pole dancer but thought...if I had ever gone that route, wouldn't it be ME who was turning the buck?

I know....gross!