You can't stop (or change, or whatever) feelings with knowledge. You change feelings with feelings, by acts of bravery, by risking. Granite (sorry to keep ringing that bell, but what an example this week!) changed her feelings (or at least their focus) by taking a risk and calling her T and asking for something. But it was relatively easy to discern what actions granite could take, based on what she had wtitten about her thoughts during sessions? She's pretty much an open book (if only I could write like that! I am GREEN!!!) Anyway, that is why I am pushing the granite scenario so hard. I felt we did have a breakthru with the wanting to self obliterate. I guess I see what Anne-3 is saying. The only way around is through - but it's like you're saying, can't we stop (the pain) before we even get there? Would that we could.

So - stop feeling like what? And put it in terms of what you would ask your T to do for you (e.g., apologize). And not just one sentence, this is an essay question. You're probably going to say again, you don't know what I'm talking about. That's okay, it's for everybody (me 2) and it doesn't have to be shared. Just thinking out loud here as usual.