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Hi all,
To reiterate the subject; I'm confused, sexually!
I haven't a clue what sexual orientation I am. I mean (and forgive me if I'm crude), I masturbate to gay porn, yet can only imagine myself being with a women. However, the only sexual relationships I have had have been with men (met through a NSA website), and I have to say I didn't enjoy it. Although heterosexual pornography doesn't arouse me.
[By the way, please forgive me if this is an incoherent babble, but I've been drinking]
Over the past weekend I went to a friend’s wedding and I was chatting up this girl, although nothing came of it because (on her way back from the toilets) she saw me hugging the bride’s sister. And later that evening, admittedly after a fair bit of alcohol, I snogged this sister in the hotel corridor, yet the next day masturbated thinking about men. [Seriously it's driving me nuts!!!]
I do have a loose theory about it; I often say to people (friends) that I'm socially inept and emotionally retarded. And I wonder whether the fact I have trouble forming bonds with people (say women) and not getting into relationships because of it might make me think that I'm gay (a case of needing to have a label). However, even though I tend to 'fall back' on that reasoning I do recall looking up gay pornography when I was a teenager (which at 23 might not seem a long time ago, but I'm a proper Victor Meldrew!).
I'm not sure if any of that has made sense, or if I've included all that is relevant, so I apologise.
Thanks in advance,
Tom
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