I'm having a difficult night. I fell asleep after work (just b/c it was a stressful day at work and, well, I just wanted to sleep)!

I now feel like I won't be able to fall asleep. I'm worrying about stupid stuff in my relationship, and I'm tired of it.

I am supposed to visit my ailing grandmother this weekend. She's older and forgetting things. She taught me how to sew and we have a lot in common...she often refers to me as her best friend. It's sweet. I just kinda don't want to go. It's a very long trip, and I'm always happy once I get up there. Argh, I also have to bring my dog to my parent's house for the weekend before the trip, and that's more traveling too. I think this is what is causing me stress - the trip over my head. I feel horrible that I don't want to go visit, like I'm not grateful for her or something. She's such a sweetie.

This relationship thing is also causing me issue. It just isn't sitting right with me. I can't seem to get the thoughts out of my head. These are the types of things that I will focus on and cause my anxiety the next few days. Literally, I just wish my life could be easier.

I'm supposed to visit the b/f tomorrow to see his kid's basketball game tomorrow night. I don't think he's mad at me, per say, but I don't want to travel the hour to see him if he's upset. It's almost like I don't want to go to bed, b/c tomorrow will come, and I'll have to face the fact that I am a bad grandaughter and a girlfriend who just isn't cutting it.