Well I'm unemployed so I do not have medical insurance. I don't really have a regular doctor that I go to. It's not to often that I feel like I don't want to wake up but it's like one in four days I feel like that. I was definitely feeling that way earlier today. I have been depressed for many years trying meds on and off. I lost a very good job making good money and that also has devestated me. I feel like a failure in every sense of the word. My confidence is shot. Every day I struggle with myself to stop feeling the way I do. I have almost what I would say internal conversations with myself to try to feel better. My mind often just wanders to negativity and I argue with myself to stay positive. If that makes sense. Sometimes I win sometimes I lose. My situation in reality is not good at all but some days I'm able to make myself feel good although it's rare. Then bam, I wake up the next day depressed again. It's sooo frustrating. I used to smoke ALOT of marijuana and I guess that just covered things up, making me feel ok while I was high. It's been 2 months now that I have stopped. Idk what to do.