Hi,

Well my overall opinion is.... With the bars and online dating it really doesn't sound like there was anything significant other than a good time for both. So you can't hold any of that against yourself or say that you're broken because of them. They were what they were.

I get that there's no fun in not having sex, but in your case I think it's good for you. For this reason... I think, you need to try and figure out why you're so picky.. What is it you're looking for in a guy? Is it realistic? Are you're expectations to high? (I don't need answers to those questions their for you). I'm not saying settle, but until you figure out the answers to those questions I suspect any relationship you have will be short lived, and just repeating your patterns.

It seems like your pickiness is your way of being destructive in relationships, and this may be how your bpd manifests itself. You have the hard part now, and that is taking what I said and trying to figure it out... I do think in your situation not having sex is a good thing, until you figure this out. All of this is my opinion..

take care,
-cbox