1st, I'm back. Surgery on foot went well. Stitches out on the 30th and should be able to 'walk' in another two.

2nd, I am really nervous about my 1st appointment with a therapist tomorrow. In Feb last year, I lost my psych and therapist when I went on SSD. Medicare is not accepted by many in my area at all. It took me 7 months to find a psych (well, she is a nurse practioner...but better than some of the 'docs' I've had!) Now, I've found a therapist that had an 'opening'. I actually spoke to her on the phone in the summer, but she misunderstood me (what a BPD surprise...not). It was over alcohol. Back then, I had almost two years drink free. But, she wasn't quite listening to me and thought that I still was drinking (on meds). So, she said that she wouldn't take me.
I don't want to let her know about that yet, so that she can see the real me. (2 & 1/2 years off alcohol and 2 months gamble free...yeah!) It's just really scary to go in and meet someone who did not listen to me before. Can I trust her?
But, I am desperate. I need a therapist. I have been dealing with all these thoughts and raging emotions alone for a year now.

3rd, I am still trying to figure this website out. I really want to focus on the BPD forum (and addiction) only. I am not sure how to find them. I can't always find them. Any ideas on that also?