My best mate has sent me spiraling out of of control into a deep dark hole. Everything was fine until she had one to many and all of a sudden i've left her in so much **** even though i gave her a hours warning i was not getting the bus with her now. How can i have caused this? She still got home but when she was leaving she said bye and gave my mate a hug but ignored me completely. I'm so close to cutting right now feel like **** even though i know it's not really my fault. I don't want to see her again to put myself in this position again. Is this self-fish? I just can't see me coping tonight not to mention another night. I feel so low and if i get through tonight i will be treating myself tomorrow. Why do close mates make it harder, not all of them but most. Hate this!!!!