My therapist tells me that I am the only client she has ever had that shuts down so bad that I can't talk at all. I might sit there for 30 minutes and barely say a word. She is making me feel like something is wrong with me. I can't force myself to talk. Believe me, I would much rather talk to her than sit in that awkward silence!

If I remember right, there are others on PC who do that. I can't be the only one! I know I have posted a thread like this before, but I still struggle a lot with this. I am trying to think of a way to help me get past this when I get stuck. In the past, I brought music, pictures, blanket, pillow, sat on the floor, paced the floor, played 20 questions game with her, brought journal notes, wrote during our session, etc......I can't think of anything else to do!

As a child, I was somewhat hyper. I remember being told to "stop talking so loud", "stop talking so fast", or "stop talking altogether!" I was told that I was hard to follow because I kept jumping from one topic to another and it was not making sense. This is all symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Maybe I am feeling like that now? I finally have a special time to "talk" and many times I find that I can't! I can talk as much as I want, as loud as I want, as fast as I want, yet I won't or can't. I am beginning to see very clearly how our childhood has alot to do with the person that we become as adults.

Of course, my therapist also feels that there is something buried so deep inside of me that I am scared to death to look at it. I don't know what that would be. I can't think of anything about my childhood that I haven't already shared with her.