Well, see, I've always had mood swings. But they got better for a while... And I don't know if the meds I'm on for other things are making them this bad or what, but they haven't been this bad for a long time. I was really up for about a week and a half, then yesterday, all of a sudden, I was so depressed I didn't want to move from the couch and was...well, I'd rather not go there... I was fine this morning, then super depressed again, and kept having to try to keep myself from crying. I almost cried when I got to work because I felt that horrible. Then, out of nowhere in the middle of my shift, I got really giddy and hyper and excited. Now I'm just kind of "ok".

I don't se a psych regularly. Haven't for at least a year or so. I saw one just because the movement disorder specialist wanted to make sure things were ok, but I wasn't quite honest with him about my moods. Now that they are getting worse (which I did start an antidepressant a couple weeks ago), I'm really wishing I had been. I'm also scared of being hospitalized. I don't know why. I'm scared that they will want to.
I can't drive up to where the psych I really like is at cuz I can't drive in the city. I'm scared to tell my mom and dad about it cuz I feel like it's just one more thing to add to all the trouble they've had with me.
I did express how bad I felt with her today though.

I'm no stranger to the ups and downs. I'm just torn between whether it's bad enough to open up to my parents about it and get help, or if I think I'll be okay and if I should try to just deal with it...