Hi invalice82,

I have had days when I stayed in bed, even though I couldn't sleep. I am glad those days are in the past. Opening myself up to sharing my true thoughts and feelings in therapy helped. Meds help. A healthy diet helps, sometimes I'll eat something healthy, like vegetable juice, just to help stop negative thoughts or bad moods from getting worse. Quiting smoking helped. Quiting alcahol and drugs helped, eventually. I have a routine these days, which helps. It is reassuring to me to be able to predict what my day will consist of, routines help me with that. I enjoy long walks. I read the local newspaper. I post on facebook and here. I attend christian services on sunday, though I am hesitant about some of it. They are friendly, that is enough for me to return to. I do remember living the way you wrote. I didn't enjoy it either. Mental illness is an illness. Don't allow yourself to make it a moral failing, like laziness. I don't think that would solve your problem, I think it would cause you to feel worse. I think friends are beyond my control, though I've tried to control them in the past. They are there, or they are not. I have to survive and cope well, either way. I am kind, basicly, to people. I try to listen and offer sound advice, if I can to friends. I don't muzzle myself or expect a anyone else to muzzle their own thoughts or voice, lest they become abusive. It gets better with time. I accepted help from others, I think that helped also. Good luck!