Perhaps this issue relates to a strong urge to be dominated more during your sex life? Im not saying that this needs to be the case, but are you usually rather submissive during sex? Either that or perhaps your desire to be raped is due to repressed events that happened in the past? Please tell your therapist though if you feel you need to put yourself in harms way in order to live out this fantasy. Why not try masturbating either solo or with a partner to some BDSM videos and see whether that helps with the urges. But please be safe though and talk to me if you need to. Good luck.