**Mention of Sui***

Thank y'all so much...if I had the energy I would reply to everyone...so T started talking about going back on meds again-then he started talking about partial hospitalization (freaked me out-I don't want to do that) or other options...we talked about the bad thoughts and he said if I ever did anything it would mess him up-because he cares a lot about me...he sat next to me at the end of the session and held my hand...saying things that I needed to hear-them when we hugged I felt his heartbeat and I had never noticed it before-and in that moment I didn't feel so dead-I felt the intense beat of life...I was shaky walking down the stairs afterwards...I'm so thankful tonight..but still just not feeling the best-but I'm working on what has to happen to get better-thank y'all for the support again <3