I have self harmed on and off for 10 years. It was a regular thing when I was in middle school and early high school but i managed to stop, well I substituted in a different habit, but since college a couple years ago I started agian, and this time much worse. I feel like every time I cut it gets worse, it gets more out of control, but at the same time its the ONLY way I have control in my life at all, its the only way I know what Im feeling because Im causing it, its my choice. No one ever knew until I tried to stop by telling one of my friends 2 years ago but she ignored it, so I thought, oh maybe it wasnt such a big deal after all if she wasnt concerned. But I scared myself the other night, and I scared myself again today, and then tonight I was just sitting thinking about it for hours, and though I managed to not do it, I know as soon as Im alone, I might not be able to handle my own head. I know its wrong, I know its not healthy, I know the possible consequenses. I also know Im not sure I can stop because Im just so...me, and its dark and quiet even when its not...

~Mirror~