Anger is a natural feeling we all have, just like sadness or disappointment or any other feeling. I think we often get confused between anger, and the expression of anger. Punching a wall when you are angry, is not a good expression of your anger. Words are a good expression, especially words that explain why you are angry and where you are coming from.

I did not hear anything about "you" in the T's anger. She explained she did not like being lied to or being questioned; that is not about you; that is about what she likes. If you lied to her, she does not like it; that is just the way she is. She does not want to be your friend, have you as a daughter, or any other relationship other than as a client. That is good for you to know, not said to make you feel bad!

Your hurt is yours. You feel hurt. Whether it is because you want to be her friend and can't or want to see yourself as pleasing and here is evidence you did not please, or just don't think someone else should ever be angry with you, or something else, I don't know, only you can know and work with your hurt to understand yourself and your world better in light of it and thus resolve it.

T had to decide what to "do" about what she is angry about. She has stated her boundaries now and is certain you now know them. If we want to work with another, we have to know the other's boundaries. If you don't pay a lawyer, he he won't represent you, plain and simple. If you don't have the money, you cannot buy the merchandise. If you lie and/or drag your feet complying with this therapist's boundaries or therapeutic judgement, she will not see you anymore.

Your T shared her feelings with you. That is a wonderful gift to be given by a T. You know where you "are". Many of us don't have the courage to ask our T questions and think to "steal" information by searching the web instead of talking to the T and having a conversation about therapy and our roles working together. The T's expression of anger does not sound like your mother's but it looks to me like you are lumping the two together as one. Maybe you should start again with your T discussing anger and its expression? As she said, adults can learn to work with the emotion (whereas children have a harder time because they are just learning about emotions and have no other experiences to compare theirs with other than a usually "bad" expression on the part of their parent or care giver). One of my favorite, most useful sayings my T used was, "It's not like that", letting me know I was on the wrong track, could drop that line of thought and search for a different one. Your T has said she is not your mother and that you two adults can work together through anger expression by either of you. I think that is a great place to start from.